No, stonewalling is not a personality disorder. Stonewalling is a behavior that often occurs in relationships in which one partner emotionally shuts down or withdraws from the other. It is a way for a person to try to cope with difficult conversations, stress, or intense emotions by becoming unresponsive and avoiding the situation.
Stonewalling may be a sign of underlying issues, such as anxiety, depression, or personality disorders, or it may simply be an instinctive behavior to manage an uncomfortable situation. However, stonewalling itself is not a mental health condition or personality disorder.
Table of Contents
What type of person uses stonewalling?
Stonewalling is a tactic often used by people who find it difficult to express their thoughts or feelings in a constructive manner. People who habitually use stonewalling may be those who are feeling overwhelmed and believe that the only way to find relief is to completely shut down any communication from the other person.
They may be unwilling or unable to express their thoughts and feelings, so shutting down and refusing to communicate or participate in conversation is their way of dealing with a situation they feel they have no control over.
Additionally, they may feel as though they are not being heard or that there is no point in voicing their opinion. Those who use stonewalling as a form of communication typically have difficulty controlling their emotions, and are unable to regulate their stress or anxiety levels in a healthy way.
Therefore, when faced with an overwhelming situation, they might shut down and refuse to talk.
What causes someone to stonewall?
Stonewalling is a form of emotional abuse that involves shutting down emotionally, refusing to communicate, and isolating oneself from another person. It can be a manipulation tactic used by a partner to gain power and control in the relationship, or it can be an unhealthy response to stress or unresolved issues.
In relationships, stonewalling is often caused by fear of confrontation or feeling overwhelmed by emotions such as anger, hurt, or frustration. It can occur as a result of past traumas such as childhood abuse, an inability to emotionally regulate, a lack of communication skills, or simply a lack of trust and understanding.
It is important to recognize stonewalling as a tactic of power and control in relationships, and to seek help to establish healthier coping mechanisms.
In addition, stonewalling can be caused by feeling unheard or misunderstood, or having a defensive or dismissive attitude in response to a situation. It can also be a reaction to being overwhelmed by the number of demands, disruptions, and obligations that life can bring.
Stonewalling is a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and learning how to communicate in more productive and meaningful ways is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.
Is stonewalling Narcissistic?
Stonewalling is a defensive behavior commonly associated with narcissism. It is when one partner shuts down or withdraws from a conversation as a way to avoid working through a conflict. Stonewalling is also a way for a partner to avoid taking responsibility by avoiding being confronted.
While not all narcissists are likely to stonewall during conflicts, those with a narcissistic personality disorder often utilise this tactic to manipulate the other person in the relationship. This can be detrimental to the relationship, as it leads to a lack of communication, which can lead to unresolved issues and growing resentments.
What is a stonewaller personality?
A stonewaller personality is someone who is difficult to engage with and tends to resist interactions and conversations. People with a stonewaller personality often come across as closed off and unwilling to talk, making it difficult to connect or establish a relationship with them.
They may also avoid engaging difficult topics, redirect conversations, or shut down conversations altogether if they feel uncomfortable or threatened. People who employ stonewaller tactics may also be seen as resistant to change, focusing on maintaining the status quo and resisting steps toward progress.
Oftentimes, stonewallers do not even realize they are engaging in such unhelpful behaviors. All in all, a stonewaller personality is characterized by an unwillingness to engage and connect with others in meaningful ways.
Is stonewalling a form of control?
Yes, stonewalling can be considered a form of control. By stonewalling, an individual is able to take control of a situation by refusing to cooperate, withhold information, or engage in the conversation.
As a result, the other person may feel discouraged to share any further ideas, leading to them feeling resigned or powerless. Stonewalling is often used as a way to dominate another person, as the person stonewalling is able to establish control and dictate the conversation.
It can also be a form of emotional abuse, as it can erode the trust between people or can create severe fear and resentment which could lead to even more governing behavior. In many cases, stonewalling is used to manipulate or coerce the other person into doing or saying something they do not want to.
Ultimately, stonewalling is a form of control, as it is a means of imposing one’s will on another in a very direct and unyielding way.
How does a stonewaller feel?
A stonewaller is someone who refuses to be open and communicative with others when it comes to their emotions and/or thoughts. This refusal can be intentional or unintentional, but either way can have a large impact on interpersonal relationships.
For the stonewaller, this behavior will likely cause them to feel a wide range of emotions that can range from frustration and regret to resentment, anger, and even self-loathing. They may feel the urge to lash out at the person they are stonewalling, or attempt to avoid the conversation completely.
Stonewalling can also lead to a sense of loneliness and alienation from those around them, leading to a heightened sense of isolation and helplessness.
The stonewalled party may feel confused, frustrated, and even hurt by the stonewaller’s behavior. It can lead to loss of trust as well as feelings of insecurity, as the stonewalled party may sense that the stonewaller is withholding something but not being able to get answers to their questions.
In the end, stonewalling is a damaging behavior that can lead to strained, hostile relationships and further damage to the trust and respect between people.
What are the traits of a stonewaller?
Stonewalling is a common form of communication in which one person appears unwilling or unable to actively listen to and respond to what the other person is saying. It is an extreme form of unresponsiveness, leaving people feeling unheard, frustrated, and resentful.
Common traits of a stonewaller include:
• Refusal to engage: A stonewaller will not engage in conversations, will shut down, and will not fully participate, often making it difficult to resolve conflicts.
• Lack of emotion: A stonewaller will often display a neutral demeanor and rarely show emotion. They may appear bored or indifferent, which can make it harder for other people to express themselves and participate in the conversation.
• Withdrawal: A stonewaller may simply walk away from an argument or conversation and refuse to engage at all. They may also employ strategies such as avoidance, ignoring, and blocking to create barriers between themselves and the other person.
• Saying less: Rather than engaging in open dialogue, a stonewaller may simply provide short, vague responses or avoid giving a straight answer altogether.
• Refusing compromise: Stonewallers may be unwilling to compromise or look for solutions. They may also be overly resistant to change or new ideas, creating a feeling of helplessness and stagnation within the conversation.
Overall, stonewalling can be extremely detrimental to relationships and can result in feelings of hurt and anger. Recognizing the traits of a stonewaller and taking steps to resolve conflicts in a more constructive and collaborative manner can help create a healthier environment and more meaningful connection for everyone involved.
Can stonewalling be a trauma response?
Yes, stonewalling can be a trauma response. This can happen when someone is triggered by something in the present moment, which takes them back to a traumatic event in their past. When this happens, it can be difficult for them to regulate their emotions, leading them to shut down and withdraw from the situation.
When this occurs, they may stop being communicative and responsive, which is known as stonewalling. This type of reaction is a way of protecting oneself from the emotional pain associated with the trauma, and can be a sign that the person needs help to work through the underlying trauma that is causing this response.
Does stonewalling mean they want to break up?
No, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to break up. Stonewalling, otherwise known as the “silent treatment,” is when one person in a relationship refuses to communicate or engage in discussions with the other person.
It can be a tool of manipulation and control as it breaks down communication in the relationship, leaving the other person feeling frustrated and unheard. It can also be a sign of deeper-seated issues that are unresolved, such as resentment or anger.
While stonewalling can be a signal that something is wrong, it does not necessarily mean that the person wants to break up. It is important to figure out what is causing this behavior, and it may be beneficial to partner with a counselor or therapist to help facilitate a solution.
Open communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship and it is essential to addressing any issues that may arise.
